Christmas Roast Part I

Ok lets start this thing...... >>>Not sure what board to ride? Why not have a multiple board quiver, that way you can look great in the carpark while discussing to others the importance of the right coloured matching fins but in the back of your mind you are left in total confusement as to what board actually works for you..........>>> Feeling Cold??, why not wear a hooded vest in the middle of summer......Did someone say facial hair?, grow it, I mean how else are you gonna look like one of the characters from Lords of Dogtown or fit in at the local Cawthron..... Stand on the Boulder Bank discussing how small the swell is but once the swell gets over 3 foot you are nowhere to be seen. Setup a boardriders blog and remain in a surf-less town just so you can feel like you are one of the Alpha-males in the local surf community whilst the rest of your past and present surfing mates live in Indo, Aussie or elsewhere, and if you really cant stand the water temperature in Dunedin then move to Nelson that way you hardly have to go surfing and when you do you can wear that hood mentioned above just so you dont get too homesick. Fake a shoulder injury, thats one of the best ways to totally avoid surfing contact when you really feel like retiring to tramadol, red wine and Tom Waits vinyls for 6months.